The McCain-Palin campaign unveiled a unique solution to the current financial crises plaguing the U.S. The plan includes boosting our economy with revenues generated by cage duels between Joe Six-Pack and Joe the Plumber to be officiated by Joe Lieberman.
"There will be blood to pay, you betcha," said Sarah Palin,"but that's how you achieve trickle-down economy, gosh darn it!"
Palin, who is credited with successfully galvanizing the base instincts of her Republican party die-hards added that for years, the economy of Alaska has survived on revenues from cage duels between Bullwinkle and Joe Camel.
"I've always pitted big cartoon characters against big tobacco agents and guess who's winnin'(sic)," she quipped with a wink, "The State of Alaska and my hubby, Todd Palin." She later amended that statement by saying that she was referring to her husband's winnings in dog-sledding across America and drilling for oil in the backyard of their trailer home in Wasilla.
"Friends, I am proud of Sarah Palin,"said Senator McCain clutching a pen and clenching his teeth,"She can spot a terrorist from miles away." McCain added that Palin honed her terrorist-detection skills by "keeping a clear watch on the Bering Strait" and "staring those Ruskies down."
"It's a tough job and only a maverick like her could do it,"adding that, in 2004, George Bush should have ditched the "crusty" Dick Cheney and picked Palin as his running mate.
"I am no George Bush and I picked Sarah Palin as my partner," McCain announced to the thunderous crowd at the moose-carving party. A few minutes later, he had to explain to his supporters about the salient differences between an Arab and a "decent American."
"I am proud of my supporters,"beamed McCain,"they are patriots, heroes, and now, because they understand the difference between an Arab and an American, they will refuse to vote for Obama!"
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