Sunday, December 5, 2010

Proverbial Chutney

"Okay, let's go...All your passwords have expired."

Palin and Gingrich Comments Spark Change in Terrorist Racial Profile

Following comments by Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich that Julian Assange, the Wiki Leaks Editor-in-Chief, be labelled a "terrorist" and "enemy combatant", the team at Fox News is working on a new racial profile of a terrorist.

"For nearly eight years now, Fox News has maintained that the racial profile of a terrorist is a Middle-Eastern Muslim man." said Nev Wertru, spokesman for Fox News. "The comments by Palin and Gingrich compel us to change the racial profiles of terrorists to include Caucasian males with blonde hair."

Earlier this week, Fox News announced that it would release the new profile on its prime-time programming, a move that is expected to be "extremely controversial", according to Wertru.

"The majority of American are conditioned to seeing dark-haired, Middle-Eastern Muslims as terrorists, not blonde-haired, Caucasians," remarked Wertru. "But, Fox News is the most objective news agency and thanks to the comments of Palin and Gingrich, we have to report what we see as a new development."

Wertru argued that as a result of the new terrorist profile released by Fox News, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) will profile blonde-haired Caucasians as enemy combatants and terrorists at all U.S. airports.