Sunday, December 28, 2008

Guru GlobalAnanda's Globalogues

"The Divine cannot be nothing, nor can It be local, therefore, the Divine is everything and It is Global."
- Guru GlobalAnanda

Friday, December 26, 2008

Dateline Ille (Itinerant L'l Leprechaun Erin):

"Am all outta ammo, Sarge...should I go for the shoe throw?"

An ILLE exclusive:

By declining to uphold the dictates of Prop. 8, The Attorney General of the State of California, Jerry Brown, has taken a bold and laudable move to stop the fundamentalists from treading upon our fundamental rights. With every election in the U.S. it becomes more and more apparent that the religious zealots in this country are breaching the "separation of church and state" doctrine that was guaranteed to the citizens of the U.S. by the Founding Fathers of the Constitution. Fundamentalist churches and other evangelical religious institutions, flush with cash from their tax-exempt status, are now focused on wielding political power and becoming the proxy voices of their parishes. California pastor, Rick Warren, one of the strident voices in support of Prop. 8 (the proposition that opposes civil rights through the banning of same-sex marriages) has enough influence in the political arena to be invited to conduct the invocation ceremony of the 44th President of the U.S. -- Barack Obama.

The rise of religious institutions in the political sphere is an alarming development because it erodes the very bedrock of secularism that the U.S. was founded upon. The Founding Fathers of the U.S. Constitution, such as, Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, were well aware of the pernicious effects of religion in the affairs of the state, having experienced the oppression and hegemony of the Church of England in the late eighteenth century in the 13 colonies. In his New York Times bestseller, The God Delusion, author Richard Dawkins includes a remark from Jefferson that might have reflected his frustration with the rigidity of religious systems -- "Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man" (64). Dawkins appends another revealing quip on anti-clericalism by James Madison, the fourth President of the U.S.: "During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution" (64).

And starting with Prop. 8 in 2008, a system which at times has perpetuated superstition, bigotry, and persecution is now running roughshod over the civil rights of honest, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens of the U.S.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Guru GlobalAnanda's Globalogues

"To realize your goal of globalization, you must visualize, contextualize, and then, mobilize. These are the cardinal globalasanas."
- Guru GlobalAnanda

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Drooling and Dribbling over a White Christmas...

Following an online order of a battery-operated, realistic, furry puppy, the Indian Roller received two Christmas shopping catalogues from Taylor Gifts and Get Organized. Both catalogues share the same address (600 Cedar Hollow Road, Paoli, PA) so it makes sense that they were bundled in the same online order. But that's not the all that the catalogues share -- the Indian Roller also wondered why each solely featured caucasian models. Aren't we beyond "whites only?"

Indeed, the "only" other ethnic representation in the entire catalog for Taylor Gifts (estd. 1952) was an African-American figure -- Item # 29017A -- a plastic figurine of President-elect Barrack Obama. He also appears in a campaign collectible, genuine, legal-tender, dollar coin -- Item #29033A --displayed in an airtight, protective, acrylic coin holder with felt box. You can also get a John McCain version of both.

These items did make Indian Roller wonder about something else:


Is it illegal to damage or deface coins?

Section 331 of Title 18 of the United States code provides criminal penalties for anyone who “fraudulently alters, defaces, mutilates impairs, diminishes, falsifies, scales, or lightens any of the coins coined at the Mints of the United States.” This statute means that you may be violating the law if you change the appearance of the coin and fraudulently represent it to be other than the altered coin that it is. As a matter of policy, the U.S. Mint does not promote coloring, plating or altering U.S. coinage: however, there are no sanctions against such activity absent fraudulent intent.

At, there's a sombre-pale-faced Santa who reminds you that there are only 10 days left until Christmas. It's his busiest time of the year and it appears that he might even be forced to work while sitting on the throne using one of the top Christmas decorations featured on this site, The Singing Toilet Paper:

Here's a plug for The Singing Toilet Paper from the Taylor Gifts catalogue:
"Plays a medley of Christmas tunes, including Jingle Bells, Santa is Comin' to Town, and We Wish you a Merry Christmas, as the paper pulls from the roll. Miniature device installs undetected, serenades the unsuspecting. Batteries included."

Ah, would the "unsuspecting" be the ones who will discover the day after Christmas that they are head over heels in debt?

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Celebrate the Grinch in YOU...

Lost and Found Near Ackerman Union - From the Ground Up

An ongoing primer for the floccinaucinihilipilification of Christmas season in the workplace:

If you are not accustomed to feeling sudden, inward bursts of cheer and generosity in your workplace due to the onslaught of Christmas-season cheer, you might be temporarily consigned to a minority feeling. In fact, here are some scenarios in the workplace around the Christmas season that you may find alarming, if not downright vexing:

#1 Insensitivity: Some of your clueless co-workers will send mass e-mails to your group or department with clarion calls of "Merry Christmas!" If you do not observe Christmas, you might catch yourself thinking, "How could she be so clueless?...Let me teach her a lesson...ah, let me write back, Happy Hannukah and the Best of Kwanzaa too!" But resist that urge and take the higher ground -- Maintain the Obama mindset in the face of these Sarah Palins. Remember, the Grinch did not react until he was pushed to the limit.

In his best-selling tome on personal development, First Things First, author Steven R. Covey writes that "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

So be true to the Grinch in you and for that Christmas mass-mail, in your e-mail application, choose "Move to Trash."

#2 Shameless Consumerism: Holiday raffles, toy drives, and calls for donations will flood your senses in the workplace and mount an assault on your wallet. You might get e-mails from valued colleagues because "it is the season for giving." The raffles taunt you with the prospect of a 52-inch plasma TV while the pictures of needy, inner-city schools who are beneficiaries of the toy drives rankle your guilt. Why do we plant a Christmas tree in the corner and declare the need to line it with toys and trinkets without which we got along just fine throughout the year? And what message are we relaying to these kids through our toy drives? That if your parents cannot afford a gift that you really do not need, we'll step in and feed your want, just this once, every year. And what about the kids whose parents do not observe Christmas? Should we pander to their desires even though their parents do not subscribe to this "bizarre" custom of gift-giving designed around a fabricated birth day? Hmm.

Take the high road again, Grinchophiles! If you have been doing community service for the last 11 months of the year, steer clear of the assault on your hard-earned dough. Now is the time to indulge yourself with a pair of running shoes that will allow you to run away from your workplace delusion of Christmas cheer. And your reward? You will be smiling on New Year's Day because you did not exhaust that cheerfullness and your wallet by 12 pm, Dec. 25.

More to come...What's the deal with that song, "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas?"

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

How the Grinch Stoked Christmas

"It's the economy, son...and we need your piggy bank for our bailout..."

Admit it, for all the talk of a secular America, it is predominantly, a Christian nation with Christian predilections. And that is never more obvious than the weeks that count down from Thanksgiving day to Christmas day. The President of this nation has a giant Christmas tree hauled over for just the occasion although you will scarcely ever see him honor the birthday of Buddha with a Bodhi Tree in the White House. How about a palm tree for Muhammad's birthday or a faux burning bush for Moses birth anniversary in the lawns of the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Keep dreaming, my heathen friend or allow yourself to be saved by the Lord!

Unless you work for a religious organization, you can safely assume that your workplace will remain secular throughout the year with occasional festoons and party favours showing up for employees' birthdays, anniversaries and baby showers. The one exception is the month of December, when Christmas wreaths begin to adorn office hallways and the office atrium serves up the aroma of a freshly-cut Christmas tree. You will also receive an occasional "Merry Christmas" or a "Happy Christmas Holiday" greeting from a co-worker. And what do you do if you want to remind the multitude of "unquestioning believers" that Christmas was a made-up birth date of the Prophet by the Christian theocracy to supersede the Roman pagan holiday, Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, on Dec. 25? Well, that kind of mentality would classify you as a Grinch.

And that's how it all begins...What would a Grinch do in the workplace for the Christmas season. Critiquing the raison d’etre of this faux birth date will make you the most unpopular guy in the office during the Christmas holidays -- and you will draw parallels to the Grinch in the Workplace. The Grinch is an independent thinker and a celebrity, however -- with several movies to his credit -- while most of your colleagues are not. So, who would you rather be? Besides, the Grinch is green and Green is in, Green is the color of cool. Just ask Al Gore.

Countdown to Christmas: A Survival Guide for the Grinch in the Workplace

#1: Anger: Anger is the appropriate response to this flagrant violation of the expectation that workplaces need to remain secular. Besides, when you expend your anger at the workplace, you will find that your time at home is filled with tranquility and calm.

#2 Derision: When a cheery co-worker greets you with a "Happy Christmas", respond with an equally uplifting "Happy Hannukah", "Eid Mubarak", or "Kwanzaa Greetings."

# 3 Denial: You can pretend not to look at the Christmas ornaments that are decking the hallways of your path to the coffeemaker. Distract yourself by checking your text messages as you walk the corridors suffused with Christmas cheer.

# 4 Avoidance: Save all of your vacation for this time of the year. Honor the Wiccan in you and drive out to a festival of Yule. Or organize an annual festival of dredle spinnin' and kugel eatin' in Alaska. Or go on a fat-burning, annual Haj to Mecca.

# 5 Shock: This one's for the environmentalist in you. Why are we cutting down more trees to fill a corner when Mother Earth needs more forests and whatever greenery that we have left on this planet?

More to come…from negative-centeredness -> positive vibes -> taking charge of your Christmas-season destiny

A ten-step primer to the floccinaucinihilipilification of Christmas season in the workplace by the Grinch in YOU.

Stay tuned...