Sunday, April 11, 2010

Proverbial Chutney

"Dude, 'straight' is so in."

Easter Hunt Reveals Christ's Coming to America

An Indian Roller Exclusive...

A farming community in Christobal, Arizona claims that it discovered the body of Jesus Christ during a childrens' Easter hunt. Three children found the body with Easter eggs strewn nearby in a wooded area of Christobal. The local farmers contacted the Knights of Arizona (KOA), a local militia with jurisdiction over Christobal, and Rupert Novarro, Supreme Father of KOA, confirmed that the body of indeed that of the prophet.

"This body is that of middle-aged, blue-eyed, Caucasian in his mid-thirties,"said Novarro,"and it proves that Jesus Christ came to America." He and KOA affiliates are working round the clock to create an open casket to house the prophet's remains in the Grand Auditorium at Christobal. "I am expecting millions of Christian faithfuls to flock this town in a matter of days,"adds Novarro.

Prominent Christian organizations in the U.S. and Europe have rejected Novarro's claims and some have labeled KOA's activities as "blasphemous." Darrin Cole, the head of Christian Activists Caucus (CAC), based in Maryland, argued that Novarro and KOA should be "censured" for their comments to the press. "We all know that Christ rose from the dead and ascended to the Heavens," said Novarro, "it's an undisputed fact." Cole added that there would be no possibility of any body or remains of Christ "lying around" in a wooded area.

Novarro dismisses all the criticism of him and KOA as "kooky talk."

"We are about to change the course of Christianity," stated Novarro, "If people doubt us, we invite them to Christobal to see for themselves what we have is a revelation!"