Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Proverbial Chutney


"That little bit of spirit should uncork your emotions."

Religion and Real Estate Vie to Get Closer to God

==An Indian Roller Consider it DUN exclusive==

With real estate prices taking a plunge in Dubai, a Sunni group with ties to the Saudi Royal family has been lobbying to buy the top floor of the Burj in Dubai at an undisclosed bargain price. The group, Dar al Dubai (DAD), plans to build a mosque in the top floor of the Burj, the tallest building in the world today.

"The top floor will be a prayer site for those who want to feel closest to Allah for a few minutes," said Dawood Ghazali, the DAD Public Relations Manager. "This is a mosque with the highest urban elevation on earth." Ghazali added that since the floor is accessible only via elevators, the prayer times will be restricted to 10 minutes per individual. "However," he said,"we will consider special requests."

The efforts to erect this soaring sanctum follows a global trend in high-rise sanctuaries. Recently, an influential group of Sikhs in Sirijaya, Malaysia, lobbied to establish a gurdwara in the top floor of the Petrones Towers in Kuala Lumpur. The move for the Petrones gurudwara, which was widely hailed as a reflection of the ascendancy of Sikhism in Malaysia, was withdrawn after the religious group and the developers of the Petrones Towers failed to reach a deal on the lease for the towers.

"We aim high,"said Ghazali, citing the charter of DAD,"because God wants us to."

Monday, November 30, 2009

Proverbial Chutney...


"Okay, all your passwords expired...it's go time!"

Southern Church Decries Thanksgiving Dinners

== An Indian Roller Exclusive ==
A church in the Edonville, Arkansas has issued a statement that Thanksgiving dinners are sinful and blasphemous. The Church of Christian Knights (COCK), whose followers believe in a strict, literal interpretation of the Holy Bible, argue that the turkey did not feature as an edible bird in the Bible. "If God wanted us to eat turkey," said Tam Boding, wife of Rev. Boding, the head of COCK, "He would have put a turkey on the table for Jesus and his disciples and he did not. That says something about the bird." The church strongly believes that the only meat items featured in the original Thanksgiving dinner of 1621 were venison and wild fowl.

Most members of COCK, who are also against miscegenation of races, believe that modern retelling of the original Thanksgiving, is apocryphal. "The pilgrims were pure Christians who were chosen by the Lord to start a new world," said Tony Whiles, secretary of COCK,"and I don't believe they would be without food or shelter as the modern stories portray their predicament. If they needed help, they didn't need no Indians...God was right there to help them." Whiles argues that the stories of the Pilgrims having dinner with Native-American Indians is "pure fiction" and a figment of modern-day political correctness.

"Segregation was solidly in place under God's law in the United States until the Civil War,"noted Whiles,"and for the Pilgrims, our Christian forefathers, to sit down at a holy meal with non-believers of color is totally out of character. How would you even say grace at a meal where heathens are the meal providers?"