Sunday, October 19, 2008


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Guru GlobalAnanda's Globalogues

"In globalization, time is money...Always carry a currency converter."

- Guru GlobalAnanda

Joe's to Feature in McCain-Palin Economic Agenda

The McCain-Palin campaign unveiled a unique solution to the current financial crises plaguing the U.S. The plan includes boosting our economy with revenues generated by cage duels between Joe Six-Pack and Joe the Plumber to be officiated by Joe Lieberman.

"There will be blood to pay, you betcha," said Sarah Palin,"but that's how you achieve trickle-down economy, gosh darn it!"

Palin, who is credited with successfully galvanizing the base instincts of her Republican party die-hards added that for years, the economy of Alaska has survived on revenues from cage duels between Bullwinkle and Joe Camel.

"I've always pitted big cartoon characters against big tobacco agents and guess who's winnin'(sic)," she quipped with a wink, "The State of Alaska and my hubby, Todd Palin." She later amended that statement by saying that she was referring to her husband's winnings in dog-sledding across America and drilling for oil in the backyard of their trailer home in Wasilla.

"Friends, I am proud of Sarah Palin,"said Senator McCain clutching a pen and clenching his teeth,"She can spot a terrorist from miles away." McCain added that Palin honed her terrorist-detection skills by "keeping a clear watch on the Bering Strait" and "staring those Ruskies down."

"It's a tough job and only a maverick like her could do it,"adding that, in 2004, George Bush should have ditched the "crusty" Dick Cheney and picked Palin as his running mate.

"I am no George Bush and I picked Sarah Palin as my partner," McCain announced to the thunderous crowd at the moose-carving party. A few minutes later, he had to explain to his supporters about the salient differences between an Arab and a "decent American."

"I am proud of my supporters,"beamed McCain,"they are patriots, heroes, and now, because they understand the difference between an Arab and an American, they will refuse to vote for Obama!"

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Quick-and-Dirty "Vote for Palin" Questionnaire

Still undecided on whether to vote for Sarah Palin?

Do not fret. These easy questions will help you decide. You must answer an emphatic "Yes" to all of the following...there are no "if's", "but's" or "maybe's"...:

Do YOU believe:

  • That the United Nations is responsible for our current financial snafu?
  • That Freedom is to be "Pro-Life" and "Pro-Death" penalty?
  • That Putin will rear his head in the airspace of Alaska?
  • That traveling abroad is un-patriotic?
  • That every Muslim is a terrorist?
  • That your IQ is less than Bullwinkle, a liberal, socialist elite from Wassamatta U.?
  • That you can use "You betcha", "Gosh darn", and "Joe six-pack" in a song?
  • That the capital of the United States should be Wasilla failing which Alaska should secede?
  • That you are a maverick?

Remember, a vote for Palin is a vote for Freedom -- from the pesky g's as in, cheerin', winnin' and moose-huntin'!

Guru GlobalAnanda's Globalogues

Globalization motto #1:
"We trade to live, not live to trade."
- Guru GlobalAnanda

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Waiter, There's a Fly in My Religion!

The rate at which many prominent politicians in the U.S. mix religion with politics is simply alarming. Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Sarah Palin, and Barack Obama have been either zealous in mixing it with their political messages or highly reluctant in disassociating themselves from religious ideology despite the fact that the U.S. Constitution is unequivocally sanguine about separation of church and state. History has proved to us, time and time again, that religion and politics is an incendiary mixture that has caused death, devastation and unmitigated misery to millions of people over the ages. The Bible, the Koran, and the Torah are rusty-old books that can easily be turned into weapons of mass destruction.

Recently, I started reading the Cartoon History of the World III, an extremely well-researched and illustrated book (see image), and the perhaps one of the motifs that emerges from the book is that religion, while it provided succour and stability to many cultures, was a cause of great suffering and humiliation to those that were deemed to be, the "others." Although Mr.Gonick, the author, never avers to it, but I came away with the feeling that mass religion is the scourge of humanity and we'd be much better off thinking for ourselves and engaging in our own spiritual quests. This would obviously result in a drop in attendance at churches, mosques, synagogues, and temples but the world will be better for it. Let's pray to the Almighty Dollar (or the Euro or the Yuan) instead. Everybody can see it, visualize and fantasize about it, and we all know how it feels to have one in our hands--it is an out-of-body experience to hold a Ben Franklin in your hand.

Which reminds me, if you ever felt uncomfortable with the inane drivel of modern-day religions but felt shy to voice your opinions, go see Bill Maher's Religulous. It makes laughing stock of our strict adherence to religious strictures and offers up a good laugh in the process. I was in stitches throughout the entire movie and Maher's sharp-witted questions to the defenders of the religious scriptures reveals the depths to which we are ready to accept the hocus-pocus in our religions while we are quick to deride other religious canons as inaccurate and mere fantasy. By the end of the documentary it is fairly clear that all mainstream religions today are based on some virtue-inspired fables, fairy tales, and myths, but it is alarming to see the custodians of those religions trying to convince Bill Maher that their beliefs are the one-true beliefs. And it this trait of unilateralism in every mainstream religion that makes these religion so potentially dangerous, pernicious, and deadly. It was Thomas Jefferson who said, "But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."

Two quotes that I'd like to add here:
“This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it”
-John Adams

"Religion is the opiate of the masses."
-Karl Marx

In the chequered history of the U.S., religious bigots have Bible-thumped their way into justifying slavery, inequality of sexes, and a ban on mixed-marriages. So, don't let the religious bigots define what marriage means for the rest of us...Vote "NO" on California Prop 8. Marriage is an equal right for all!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Guru Globalananda's Globalogues

Civility is that you come together...even when you defer or differ.
- Guru Globalananda

The Little Giant of Porbandar

Today is the birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi, a towering Indian, a world citizen and a relentless voice for humanity. On this day in 1869, our civilization welcomed an individual who went on to inspire the world with ahimsa (non-violence) and satyagraha (truth-force). When we were children, we learned about his life and his great stature as a leader of the people. But it's only when you are an adult and you've dealt with the various vicissitudes of your lives, that you realize the forces that he was up against, the difficult decisions that he had to make and the strength of his will, against all odds. I am sure that he made some grave mistakes that he regretted and there were moments of self-doubt and hesitation, but what he accomplished in the 77 years of his life is simply astounding...

Bapu (father of the nation), as he was known to those who loved and revered him as beacon of a secular India, was partly inspired by Henry Thoreau and in turn, inspired other proponents of non-violence and peaceful civil disobedience, such as, Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela.

On the fifth year of the unilateral and illegal occupation of a sovereign nation, Iraq, by the Bush regime, these words by Gandhi ring true, once again:

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?"

And here's a pic from BBC Day in Pictures from Amristsar, India...Little Gandhi's in a march!