Wednesday, December 10, 2008

How the Grinch Stoked Christmas

"It's the economy, son...and we need your piggy bank for our bailout..."

Admit it, for all the talk of a secular America, it is predominantly, a Christian nation with Christian predilections. And that is never more obvious than the weeks that count down from Thanksgiving day to Christmas day. The President of this nation has a giant Christmas tree hauled over for just the occasion although you will scarcely ever see him honor the birthday of Buddha with a Bodhi Tree in the White House. How about a palm tree for Muhammad's birthday or a faux burning bush for Moses birth anniversary in the lawns of the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Keep dreaming, my heathen friend or allow yourself to be saved by the Lord!

Unless you work for a religious organization, you can safely assume that your workplace will remain secular throughout the year with occasional festoons and party favours showing up for employees' birthdays, anniversaries and baby showers. The one exception is the month of December, when Christmas wreaths begin to adorn office hallways and the office atrium serves up the aroma of a freshly-cut Christmas tree. You will also receive an occasional "Merry Christmas" or a "Happy Christmas Holiday" greeting from a co-worker. And what do you do if you want to remind the multitude of "unquestioning believers" that Christmas was a made-up birth date of the Prophet by the Christian theocracy to supersede the Roman pagan holiday, Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, on Dec. 25? Well, that kind of mentality would classify you as a Grinch.

And that's how it all begins...What would a Grinch do in the workplace for the Christmas season. Critiquing the raison d’etre of this faux birth date will make you the most unpopular guy in the office during the Christmas holidays -- and you will draw parallels to the Grinch in the Workplace. The Grinch is an independent thinker and a celebrity, however -- with several movies to his credit -- while most of your colleagues are not. So, who would you rather be? Besides, the Grinch is green and Green is in, Green is the color of cool. Just ask Al Gore.

Countdown to Christmas: A Survival Guide for the Grinch in the Workplace

#1: Anger: Anger is the appropriate response to this flagrant violation of the expectation that workplaces need to remain secular. Besides, when you expend your anger at the workplace, you will find that your time at home is filled with tranquility and calm.

#2 Derision: When a cheery co-worker greets you with a "Happy Christmas", respond with an equally uplifting "Happy Hannukah", "Eid Mubarak", or "Kwanzaa Greetings."

# 3 Denial: You can pretend not to look at the Christmas ornaments that are decking the hallways of your path to the coffeemaker. Distract yourself by checking your text messages as you walk the corridors suffused with Christmas cheer.

# 4 Avoidance: Save all of your vacation for this time of the year. Honor the Wiccan in you and drive out to a festival of Yule. Or organize an annual festival of dredle spinnin' and kugel eatin' in Alaska. Or go on a fat-burning, annual Haj to Mecca.

# 5 Shock: This one's for the environmentalist in you. Why are we cutting down more trees to fill a corner when Mother Earth needs more forests and whatever greenery that we have left on this planet?

More to come…from negative-centeredness -> positive vibes -> taking charge of your Christmas-season destiny

A ten-step primer to the floccinaucinihilipilification of Christmas season in the workplace by the Grinch in YOU.

Stay tuned...

No comments:

Post a Comment