Monday, June 20, 2011

Conservative Jews and Muslims Unite Against Canines in the Middle East

 An Indian Roller Exclusive by JIG

In a move that has surprised religious scholars worldwide, a prominent conservative Jewish organization, Moses' Only Jewish Offspring (MOJO), have joined hands with a hardline Muslim organization to ensure that the Middle East is free of dogs. Azhar bin Mehrab, a spokesman for the Saudi-based organization, Mujahedins Under Muhammad (MUM), confirmed that MUM had "preliminary discussions" on how to unite with the Jews who believe that the Middle-East should be rid of dogs.

"Dogs are dirty animals," said bin Mehrab. "Their saliva is full of bacteria, they sniff other dog's anuses and carry rabies, and our God does not like them. You can find it in our hadiths that dogs annoyed our Prophet, praise be upon him,  and they are a nuisance to this day." According to bin Mehrab, MUM was happy to collaborate with MOJO to "remove" all dogs from the Middle East.

Noah Weinstein, public relations director of MOJO, affirmed that the dogs are considered impure animals in the Jewish tradition. "We have the support of the rabbinical court to unite with the Muslims on the matter of dogs," said Weinstein. He added that MOJO was planning on a three-day conference on the topic of dog eradication in collaboration with MUM. "We are extending an invitation to Benjamin Netanyahu to be our keynote speaker," said Weinstein. "Bibi is a stalwart of conservative Jews like us."

This move towards unity against dogs has caught many religious scholars off guard. Erdal Tarek, head of the Theology department at Istanbul Congressional University (ICU), noted that such religious alliances between conservative Jewish and Muslim groups is "rare".

"This unity among the Jews and Muslims will rid us of the dog days of religious intolerance,"said Tarek.

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