Bashir and Bush Issued Two-For-One Warrants For Crimes

Recently, an anonymous source has informed Indian Roller Correspondent, Itinerant Little Leprechaun (ILLE) of the following:

ILLE:


The Hague: In an unprecedented ruling this morning, the International Criminal Court (ICC) announced that its prosecutors will serve a two-for-one warrant indictment of Sudanese President Omar al Bashir and former U.S. President George W. Bush. The ICC argues that the charges of crimes against humanity and war crimes are nearly identical for both individuals and a warrant with the same proscriptions will be issued to both.

"It's a departure from our court's modus operandi,"admitted Hans Joergen, Chief Justice of ICC," but the more we looked at the cases of Omar al Bashir and George W. Bush, the greater the similarities were between the war crimes and the crimes against humanity perpetrated by both individuals." Joergen added that this new move by the court is aimed at speeding up the delivery of indictments and possible conviction of both "alleged" criminals.

The ICC has urged Bashir and Bush to surrender themselves to the court immediately to face trial. The trial will be held at the Hague and it is expected to draw significant scrutiny from the world media.

"It sends a message to the despots and tyrants of all nations," added Sharif Akbar, Chief Foreign Correspondent of India Tribune," that no one is above the law." Akbar was confident that both Bush and Bashir would be convicted on "all counts" for their war crimes and crimes humanity.

"It's plain to see," added Alexandra Stavros, senior fellow at Larkin Peace Institute, a Washington think tank, "Both Bashir and Bush committed grave atrocities against their own citizens and abused their power and position. Now, it's Judgement Day and we hope that justice will be served."

Bush was at an inaugural ceremony of Kahuna Waves, a Dallas-area family water park, where the media approached him with news of the ICC warrant. He seemed unfazed by the ICC decision and instead urged the media to "enjoy the moment" at the water park.

"Look, they have a Waterboarding ride in this park,"said Bush, pointing to a tour guide of Kahuna Waves park, "I keep telling y'all. Waterboarding is fun!"

A spokesman for Omar Bashir's office declined to comment on the ICC warrant.