Tuesday, July 14, 2009

U.S. Right Wingers Embrace Air Travel E-Device that Detects Arabs

An ILLE exclusive:

A right wing group from Kentucky, Citizens United for Limbaugh and Coulter (CULT), has announced a device that, the group claims, will help air passengers identify Arab-born citizens before a flight. The electronic device, ArabBorn, is being assembled at an undisclosed CULT facility in Kentucky with components imported from China.

"This e-device offers us an opportunity to heed the words of Limbaugh and Coulter,"said Rube Naitbell, Grand Vazir of CULT in Morrisvale, Kentucky. "It allows us to detect if an Arab is flying with us and thereby gives us a choice to either notify the flight crew or deplane the aircraft altogether," added Naitbell. The ArabBorn device is the size of a digital golf caddy.

"I love the name, ArabBorn,"said Rosy McAllister,"because like the pill, Airborne, this clever doohickey was invented by a local school teacher, who I shall not name. He invented it because he wanted to find out how many students in his class were Arabs without breaking any state laws." According to McAllister, the device contains profiles and a lexicon of mannerisms that allows her to "instantly" detect Arabs at an airport or in a flight.

"Now, whenever, I fly,"said McAllister,"I make sure to take both my Airborne and ArabBorn...that is the healthy and friendly way to fly."